Much like this flower expresses a consistent rich complexity, we to express a similar pattern. There is a theme in parenting, in relationships, and in developmental psychology around this complex pattern being consistent for the formation of healthy interaction.
This is on object constancy, which is object constancy is "the capacity to recognize and tolerate loving and hostile feelings toward the same object; the capacity to keep feelings centered on a specific object; and the capacity to value an object for attributes other than its function of satisfying needs." from http://www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/objectrelations.html
This is important in the development and creation of a secure sense of self. As children mature, they need constancy to trust the repair-ability of life, with out repair or more specifically interactive repair life can essentially be seen-perceived as a terrifying place. "Its all broken", "Its hopeless", I am not enough", and "the world is unjust." Fostering hope, inner security, and ambition can be done in every relationship:relationship with self-other-community. Here is what HH Almas says about object constancy:
Object Constancy
The separation-individuation process leads ultimately to the development of the ego as a structure. Its final phase is that of object constancy, when the ego is formed and established as a permanent existence, separate from the environment (mother), and other people are seen to have separate existences. Finally, the ego is structured and developed, and the child permanently experiences himself as having a separate identity. (Essence, pg 160)
Object constancy is usually defined as the capacity to see and relate to the other as a person in his or her own right. This capacity is part of the quality of the Personal Essence, of being personal and able to make direct personal contact. (The Pearl Beyond Price)
Object relations theory contends that object love, which is love for a separate and differentiated human person, does not develop until object constancy is attained. In fact, it is part of the definition of object constancy that when it is achieved the individual has the capacity to love another as an individual in his or her own right. (The Pearl Beyond Price)
from: http://www.ahalmaas.com/glossary/o/object_constancy.htm
So what would this look like in practical action?
Regular patterns of interaction are:
• Emotional availability
• Nurturance/empathy
• Protection
• Comforting
• Teaching
• Play
• Willingness to repair
• Mutual self reflection
• Respect of developmental edges
These are only a few that are implicit, but when brought to the for of interaction with all of life, they are elucidated and become explicit. This will support the development of connection, team building, partnerships, social relationships etc. Try some of these out and comment below or feel free to share these with others.
Thanks
Scot
